Turning 3

Tomorrow is my baby girls third birthday and I’m finding it really emotional, and I think its because not only is she not a baby anymore she is my last baby. I think it is even more emotional because she is the baby that almost didn’t happen, you see I suffered a miscarriage at 13 weeks along a few months before we conceived Isabelle. I was honestly shocked at how quickly we were able to get pregnant again after the loss and I felt sad that I was so happy for her. It took me a long time to be excited about her, I wouldn’t look at any pregnancy books, and even though with my other two I started a journal I refused to do anything pregnancy related including telling our family until I was much further along. I remember those first few months, I talked to her from day one, asking her to please hold on promising her that I would love and care for her all the days of my life. I promise that little bean growing inside me anything and everything and hoped and prayed that someday I would get to look into her eyes. The months passed really slowly but I honestly didn’t care, people told me that I have never looked better and that this time around pregnancy suited me but I think it was because I was just so grateful for every day. Then it came time to got to the hospital, while in labour I felt this sense of calm, I wasn’t nervous or scared like I had been the two times before because I was trying to hang on to every moment. When she was born she was the first one of my babies to be put directly into my arms and when she was given to me I couldn’t help but cry, she was so small and beautiful and absolutely perfect, and the thought that went through my mind was everything happens for a reason. Looking into her eyes I knew it was true I didn’t want to hear it before but I knew it was true I knew that she was supposed to be mine, she was supposed to be a part of our family, and I knew that every promise I made her was going to be fulfilled no matter what.

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Tomorrow she turns three, and I miss her being a baby, I miss her big eyes looking up at me and all the cuddles and all her firsts, and I am sad that I won’t have them again, but I am so excited to see everything that she will do. She is signed up for her first big girl class of ballet in February and she is so very smart learning new things every day, she is so funny and not at all well behaved but she is ours. My girls are my heart and every time I see them happy and they living their best life I know that this is where I am supposed to be.

Tomorrow my baby is three, I wonder what adventures we will see.

Happy Hump Day Friends,

Tasha

Isabelle minutes old January 17 2016


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